LESS YOU OR ME. MORE WE.❣️

I’ve been thinking a lot about word labels lately, while I’m sure they serve a true purpose at times, other times, I wonder if our human nature to slap a label onto everything acts as a disadvantage.

A limiting constraint. A verbal shackle. Harsh. Forced into a box that may or may not classify everything it’s trying to label. Black or white. A single word that can’t begin to encompass fluid, expansive, breathing things.

Labeling foods as good or bad… labeling singular issues or a belief as left or right… labeling ourselves based on a fleeting job title… a soon-to-evolve trait we identify with… a fleeting emotion we are currently experiencing more regularly…

Slapping one single word or label onto something that isn’t so contained, so clear, so one way or the other, so extreme. So divided.

Thinking that maybe if we give things more room to breathe, less tight labels, more wiggle room, less force, we make space for more harmony, more evolving, more changing of ideas, opinions, more learnings, more curiosity, more freedom to adapt, to shift with change. More freedom. More shared. More soul. Less ego. More love. More color. Less black OR white. Less you OR me. More we. Maybe.

HAPPY HORMONES SMOOTHIE BOWL 🙏🏼

The bowls are BACK.

happy hormones & taste buds comin’ atcha:

▫️1 cup of organic frozen cherries
▫️handful of organic fresh arugula
▫️spoonful of almond butter
▫️pinch of turmeric, lots of Ceylon cinnamon (balancing blood sugar hero) & pink salt
▫️one date
▫️1 scoop of @vitalproteins collagen powder
▫️a scoop of protein powder
▫️1 scoop of ground flax seed
▫️dash of hemp hearts
▫️1 cup of almond milk, scoop of ice
▫️blended and topped with bee pollen, hemp hearts, cinnamon, drizzle of sunflower seed butter, sunflower seeds, pink salt & fresh blueberries
▫️eaten outside in the sun for an extra boost of vitamin d 🌞

let it move through you

Late night selfies & thoughts comin’ ATCHA 😉

▫️Stuck in your throat
▫️Weight on your chest
▫️Heavy on your heart
▫️Butterflies in your stomach
▫️Load off your back

These lil sayings we commonly throw around in conversation further reaffirm the tight tie between mind & body.

In 💔 times, emotions get stirred up inside of us causing commotion in our bodies physically manifesting.
Without an outlet, they get stuck, fluttering around with no way to be felt and let go of.

Grateful for the much-needed reminder post-The Class after jumping, dancing, burpee-ing, yelling... of the power of expression & release.

To clear away the trapped feels that beat up on our body. To make space. Letting them move through us and welcoming them instead of numbing, shoving down, pushing away. 🙋🏼‍♀️🍷 Staying with ourselves.

be where your feet are

There are moments when I think so far ahead, wanting to be everywhere my feet are not, thinking about future goals, places, passions, feelings, careers. Getting caught up in the planning, the ‘when’ ‘then’ thinking. The perfection seeking.

Then there are moments of pure happiness like today, when I feel how good this life is. Not the future more perfect idealized imagined life. The one right in front of our face, the one that we’re in right this second. The mundane morning latte run and smile exchange with the barista, the late night belly laughs with a gem friend, the the stillness and the sun peaking through the window in the morning.

The changing of season and chillier weather outside reminds me that nothing is permanent, and while plans and goals are great to have, you can’t forget to go with the flow and enjoy the mini adventures & miracles happening all around you along the way. 

Reminding myself to live and love the life you have while creating the one you want. ☯️

BEAUTY IN THE BREAK

“When things fall apart you start to see them clearly” - @theminimalists (shocking, I know 👽)

When we break apart, when we crack open, we can begin to understand the insides, we make space for the flow, we can pick up all the pieces and create something different, something intentional - we are becoming, never broken, there is beauty in the break 🙏🏼

HEALTHY FATS HEAT WAVE 🌊SMOOTHIE:

WAVE YOUR SMOOTHIE IN THE AIR LIKE YA JUST DON’T CARE 🦄🍌✨🍇🍒🍉🥑

▫️1 cup of frozen organic blueberries
▫️1 cup of macadamia almond milk ▫️1 tbsp of maca powder
▫️cinnamon, ginger & pink Himalayan sea salt
▫️ 1 tsp of sunflower seed butter
▫️top with hemp hearts, sunflower seed butter, dash of pumpkin seeds, fresh blueberries & pink salt
▫️2 scoops of vegan protein ▫️1/2 a teeny avocado

THE SPARK THAT’S ALWAYS THERE

When’s the last time you laughed RLY hard? 🦖

Not the low-key polite half laugh, but the not cute, head back, can’t get air, might cry kinda laughter. ⠀

Who were you with?
How did you feel?

To me, laughter is sweeet freedom. ~ It’s light, it’s space, it’s ease, it’s simplicity. it smoothes out the edges. it’s connection & joy. I’ve always been drawn to those who can make me laugh. Laughter gracefully demands the present moment.

Laughter creates space for us to soften, untangle, drop our shoulders. De-clutter. Crowd out the heavy stuff we carry with the shiny spark within us. The spark that’s always there.

LOOSEN THE GRIP

l o o s e n t h e grip 👐🏼

on the pursuit
the great expectations
on the ‘shoulda, coulda, wouldas’
the control ⛓
the plan
the attachments
the permanency
the stuck feeling
the breath

sometimes all we need is a little more space, a little more wiggle room, a little more air... a little less force

and maybe a reminder to not be so busy trying to control life that we forget to let it move us

FEELINGS OVER LOOKS, YA HEARD🖖🏼

“Worry less about how something looks, worry more about how it makes you feel”
Yet another gem from @theminimalists

I would be lying if I said I never cared about how I looked. I’ve always felt hyper self-aware of my physical presence and how I am perceived by others.
But the beautiful thing about tuning into feelings instead of perceptions and shallow exteriors is the authenticity behind it.
I’m learning in my own life that when we can let go of how our actions appear to others, we actually choose things that feel good in our gut. In our core. We are more in line with ourselves and we are more in sync with the world around us.

When we let go of the need to look perfect or to appear to have everything together all the time, we can allow space for true vulnerable raw & real connection.

SPACE TO BE OUR SOUL SELVES

“What do you do?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started a conversation this way. And there’s nothing wrong with it. With the pure intention always seeking some sort of mutual understanding, common ground or new finding within another. To connect.

But it really makes me think about identity. Often times, I subconsciously associate identity with a career or an emotion or a feeling. None of which are who we are. But fleeting experiences and circumstances. Outside of ourselves. Separate from ourselves.

I’ve described myself as an “anxious person,” a “graphic designer,” an “optimist.” But what happens when I feel calm, when I pursue other ways to make a living, when I don’t always choose to see the bright side. 🌗

In doing this, we limit ourselves. We force ourselves into a tight box. We are exponentially more dynamic and expansive than a job title or a fleeting universal human emotion.

I’m finding that when we can separate ourselves from these external false identities, we give ourselves space to be our soul selves, to be fluid, to grow and expand, to pursue new passions, to take up space. To be all the things and none of them. To be contradictory. To be ever-evolving. To be a human. To lower the expectations and to raise our standards.

kinda cute salad bowl🌈

Simple ‘n easy but make it kinda cute 💁🏼‍♀️

▫️mixed organic leafy greens 🦕
▫️diced white onion, capers, avocado
▫️hemp seeds, mixed colored peppers
▫️sauerkraut, sugar snap peas
▫️one organic egg sautéed in grass-fed butter
▫️topped with aged balsamic vinegar, coconut oil, 🍋 squeeze, truffle salt, pepper @slapyamama, nutritional yeast, fresh mint

happiness is a byproduct

Sipping in the name of the meaning of life #nbd

“Don’t confuse meaning with happiness and excitement ... Life isn’t about ephemeral pleasure.”
Anyone else heard of the “The Minimalists Podcast?” I👏🏼can’t👏🏼stop👏🏼listening. While listening to the 067 | happiness episode, they emphasized that the purpose of life is not happiness, but in fact - meaning.

During more vulnerable times, sometimes my own human nature default is to sprint after short-term pleasures while ultimately in search of long-term meaning, usually leaving me more out of breath than rejuvenated. Drinking to avoid uncomfortable feelings, mindless spending, consumption, media to distract.

The irony in this is that these ephemeral pleasures are just that. Fleeting. They vanish as quickly as they come. #byieee 👻 And with this yo yo of up and downs comes a drain. An emptiness.

This thought reminded me that more than anything it is meaning that leads to happiness. Happiness is not the goal, it is merely a byproduct.

Life is one big rollercoaster, but if we have a foundation of meaning and purpose, we can operate from a place of love and intention. We can ride the waves and enjoy the surf instead of getting dragged under by the current.

we are the same

We are all different and we are all the same.

This world is huge. 🌍

And if there’s one thing that traveling continuously teaches me it’s that we are all different and we are all the same.

We all want to love, to be loved, to be seen and heard. We all carry burdens. We all deal with sh!t. We are all just trying our best.

And the more we crack open, the more we can show our human instead of hiding it, the more we know we are not alone.

The more we know we are the same.

the ones that lift up

Words are a tool. A powerful one at that. And with any tool, they can be used to build up or tear down. 🔨

I’ve learned a lot about my word usage while standing in front of the mirror.

And the beautiful thing about words, even the ones left unspoken in our heads, is that they have the power to dictate action.

To inspire or bring down. To hate or to love. We can always choose and choose again to pick the ones that lift up.

the sweet spot

Balance. ☯️
I am constantly seeking it. 👀
Always striving to find the sweet spot between the extremes and the game of binging and restricting, push and pull.

When we squeeze things to fit into a black or white box,
it can make us feel like we have more control of it, it becomes easier for our mind to classify it, to place it, to know what the frick to do with it

And from all that over-classification, we might shut down or block it out completely
In hopes of shielding ourselves from the darker side
Trying to protect ourselves from some of the pain
Completely avoiding any and all risks involved

But with that block, we miss out on the light
We can’t feel the pleasure as deeply
We rob ourselves of sheer joy
We block it all out, the good stuff too

I’m finding that when we let go of the need for control, when we can get out of our own way, when we can let things be what they are in the moment, we can loosen the grip of control that makes us so tired. We can replace force with flow and extremes with balance. We can tune in an adjust as we go. 🌊

“When you judge yourself, you judge me”

“When you judge yourself, you judge me.” ⠀

I thought I understood the concept of self-love until my friend hit me with a major truth 💣.

And it makes so much sense. The parts in others that irk us are usually resonating with a similar piece of ourselves we haven’t been so kind to.

Any judgment we pass off on ourselves will likely be passed to others like a game of hot potato.

I’m learning that this reason alone is more than enough to show yourself some lovin.’ Be kind to you, so you can be kind to everyone else.

be where your feet are

Lately I’ve felt my heart linger behind me or lunge forward... longing for past feelings, interests, experiences and looking forward to the potentials, the maybe in the futures, the hopes.

But I’m finding with all this lingering and lunging comes a complete evacuation of the right now. An escape of all of the connections, love of self of others of life all of this moment, right here right now, has to offer. And how can we experience the new, the now, if our heart is never where our own two feet are.

Learning to love this moment, imperfections and all. 🖤

warmth 😛

‘Being cool’ ... a social game usually played around our high school years. And for some, it really makes an impact. It creates an a false identity, an image. Ego.

But the thing about being ‘cool’ is that there’s no real authentic substance within it.
In my own personal experience, anytime I’ve tried to act a certain way to control someone’s perception of me or hidden a true piece of myself out of fear of rejection...

I’ve felt emptier... more distant from my true self & from others. Cooler for sure. 🌬Cold, in fact, distanced from the warmth of unpretentious love.

And I’m finding that more than ever, we gain everything when we lose our ego. When we can show up as our truest selves, we can do things out of love as opposed to false perceptions and pretenses. When we let go of the fear of rejection, we have more time to actually care about what matters.

finding some slow in the speed

What are your constants amidst the change? What grounds you?

Lots of life changes have been happening lately, professionally and personally. Lots of new.

And I’m glad. I had been craving a change, a big one at that. These changes, while very much needed and sought after, have me feeling a bit ungrounded at times.

And how could they not? The essence of growth is change. Not staying still.
It’s during these moments, where I’m learning to let go of the need for routine and safety 24/7. To accept and not judge the moments of imperfection, of not knowing the answer, of not meeting the same standard everyday you once met. 

And I’m finding that tapping into the smallest acts of slowing down and reconnecting with yourself, finding some slow in the speed... (whether that’s an excessively long bubble bath, an hour of airplane mode, an 8:30 pm bedtime or a 2-min meditation) goes a long way. 🧘🏼‍♀️

every step leads to the next

Smirkin’ in the name of SMALL 👶 STEPS.

The first step doesn’t have to be the final answer.

Not every single move, word, interaction has to be final, perfect, end-all, be-all.

Every step leads to the next.
I tend to forget this at times. With the rise of social media and technology, we have instantaneous results at our fingertips.

We can get a date, dinner delivered to our door and validation with a tap or swipe of the finger.
But with this, I think we can forget that good things take time. Strong relationships form slowly. New skills take time to master. Career changes don’t happen overnight. Results come with consistent hard work.

So CHILL 🌬. Take the pressure off. One step at a time. Each one counts. No matter how small.

beauty in the balance ☯️

Life is hard.

It is filled with heartache, darkness, death.

But I’m finding that it is in the contrast that we can see the beauty.
It is in the pain that we have the ability to feel pleasure.
It is in the dark times that we can begin to find the light.
It is in death that we can have new life.
Can’t have one without the other.

your guiding light

Trust your gut.

What does this mean to you? Anyone else overthink this at times?

For me, it’s that feeling deep down you can’t always translate into words, a soundless message... sometimes louder and more audible than explicit words themselves

it’s knowing what feels true to you even when the facts, the checklist, the rules of life tell you otherwise

it’s the natural pull inside guiding your next move, your guiding light 💡

and while the anxious, insecure mind can tend to seek out validation from outside sources, hoping that someone or something besides you can provide you with the answers... the answers that deep down you know only YOU know

tune in, silence the outside noise, trust yourself, sometimes our bodies and hearts know before our minds catch on ✨

stay with yourself

What happens when you get stressed?

For me it's usually something like...
intention goes out the door into mindless action land. Autopilot mode. Mindless eating, drinking, living. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Self-care, movement, intuitive eating and meditation are all placed on the back burner and overruled by impulses, leaving me feeling even more disconnected from myself, numb.

However, the irony in this, is that these stressed out times are when we need ourselves the most. The most necessary times to listen to the noise inside. To listen and act upon those intuitive basic human needs. To stay with yourself amidst the fight or flight mode.

We wouldn't abandon a friend when they needed us the most, so why would we abandon ourselves? 🥀

3.14.19: Superfood smoothies & SUNSHINE 🌞

trips home to nola call for superfood smoothie bowls & quality morning vitamin d sessions with my mama

Superfood smoothie bowl:
▫️tbsp of almond butter
▫️1/2 mini avocado
▫️1 cup of frozen blueberries
▫️1/2 cup of frozen spinach
▫️fresh wheatgrass, celery, parsley
▫️ ceylon cinnamon, turmeric, pink Himalayan sea salt, maca powder
▫️mushroom complex (lion’s mane, cordyceps, reishi, chaga)
▫️white chia seeds
▫️fresh ginger
▫️organic flax seeds
▫️1 cup of almond milk
▫️2 scoops of @parsleyhealth vanilla protein powder
▫️blend & topped with wheatgrass, fresh mint, raspberries, blueberries, toasted pecan & pink sea salt

“and” over “OR" ✌🏼

“When we start to embrace ‘and,’ it’s like our body... our shoulders drop. This wholeness, embracing our whole selves. We are perfect and imperfect at the same time. “

I listened to a @mindbodygreen podcast the other day, ‘Why Your Imperfections are Your Greatest Strength with @_kimberlysnyder.’ It brought me back to my own ideas of labels and duality...
At times, I can be quick to label myself as one or the other, good or bad, success or failure, put together or a mess when I do x or y, drink smoothies or tequila, procrastinate or power through, eat lettuce or pasta, do the thing or not do the thing... the list goes on.

However, I’m finding that allowing the ‘and’ to be louder than the ‘or’ in life gives permission to be human, to be anything and everything, to be perfectly imperfect and ever-changing, to be able to like one thing AND another and still be simply a perfectly imperfect human amidst it all.

beating the blue

City detox in full effect compliments of @joovvsocial (and the Moffatt household 😂)

Have y’all heard of red light therapy?! Nowadays, we are inundated with harmful blue light through our phones, laptops, TVs, the list goes on. Aside from looking cool, red light therapy is a powerful way to combat the anxiety, inflammation and stress on the body that comes with blue light. @joovvsocial ‘uses medical-grade LEDs to deliver concentrated wavelengths of natural light to your skin and cells, without dangerous UV rays or excess heat.’

Some of the benefits include:
✔️increased collagen production
✔️reduced joint pain and inflammation
✔️improved sleep
✔️enhanced weight loss
✔️faster muscle recovery
✔️better physical performance

tapping into self-love

“Life opens up when you open up.”

I attended “Tapping into Self-Love” at The Assemblage where Jennifer Partridge used a method called tapping. Ever heard of it?

Tapping is an emotional freedom technique; it releases limiting beliefs and clears old emotional baggage (like shame) that is born from past traumas by tapping on your body’s wiring system (acupuncture meridians). ⠀

During this practice, Jennifer had us dive into our own personal limiting beliefs and past traumas and state them aloud together. This was slightly terrifying … yet wildly freeing. One message really resonated with me, “life opens up when you open up.”

In my own personal experience, after getting hurt in certain areas, it can feel safer to close yourself off completely. To not speak your truth, to not let someone in, to not be your highest self out of fear of judgment or hurt. But in closing yourself off, you block yourself from love. You block out the bad AND the good.⠀

This reminded me of how necessary it is to remain open even after past hurts, how necessary it is to choose love over fear every time, how life is really too short to spend one more day at war with yourself, care what others think and not enjoy every single second of it being our most authentic, bright, free, shiny, highest soul selves.

And that the more open we are, the more love we can let in from others. The more open we are, the more the world opens up for us. The more open we are, the more we attract openness and love right back ten-fold. The more open we are, we find that we are not alone. 🌍

the dance between

the dance...

the dance between letting it happen and making it happen
the dance between exerting force and effortless stillness
the dance between constraint and liberation
the dance between clinging and loosening the grip
the dance between controlling and listening
the dance between tension and finding your breath
the dance between sprinting and slowing down, taking a breath
the dance between optimism and raw authenticity
the dance between improvement and acceptance
the dance between choosing to see the light and acknowledging the dark
the dance between the momentous moments and the mundane ones

the dance between

all of it

all of it

which parts of yourself won't you let yourself love yet?

befriend your ingredients

the spicy, the sweet, the pain, the heartache, the gifts, the shame and the shine

fall
in love
with
al
of you

savor
yourself

- Cleo Wade

3.1.19: tuning in by tuning out

About 10 days later from a mini social media break and I’m BACK.

Things I’ve learned:
▫️not having instagram & facebook to mindlessly tap at at the mere hint of boredom made me aware of how incessantly I was checking it

▫️I noticed the itches of wanting to post every.single.thing. Not being able to allowed me to experience all the things a little more wholly in real life

▫️I felt a bit less anxious and overwhelmed from the lack of notifications coming at me (and less FOMO), taking a step away allowed me space and peace to be more present with my people

▫️I had more time to do other things, but I also watched more Netflix 😅; however, when I watched, I watched with focus and intention (not through my fingers holding my phone)

▫️TBH, I missed Instagram. I use this account as a creative outlet, a side passion project, and without it, I didn’t have as much pushing me to create and speak my truth to try and help others
I didn’t give up instagram because it is inherently bad, in fact, it has many positives. Taking this mini step back was what I needed for a mental detox and to gain awareness of my relationship to it. Sometimes all you need is a different set of boundaries. Only you know what works for you. Tune in.

how far we’ve come

I’ll never forget the summer I interned in New York. About 5 years ago. It was my first time living in the city, and I was terrified to go places alone. A friend had invited me to go to the races with him and I needed a floppy hat for the occasion. I could barely force myself to go to the store.

The overwhelming feelings of moving through the unknown, slipping into the hustle, being amongst the unidentified fast-walkers, the potential of getting lost on the subway... the anxiety was too much. It took some courage and lots of pep talks from my mom via phone, but I did it. 😂

Now looking back, 5 years later, I’m probably too comfortable going anywhere and everywhere alone. I no longer feel the anxiety of getting lost or joining the sea of city speed walkers. Instead, these activities invigorate me. They make me feel alive.
This, if anything, serves as a self-reminder to appreciate the power of reflection. To shift your focus from what you can’t do or what you can do better and instead, give yourself some credit and acknowledgment of how far you’ve come.

2.5.19: c ya lata, winter.✌🏼bowl

not-so-warm dinner salads in the name of warmer spring weather #comingsoon 

C YA LATA, winter. Bowl:

• fresh arugula & broccoli slaw mix from TJ’s

• smoked salmon

• avocado

• fresh organic blackberries

• roasted red beets

• fresh tomato

• roasted pecans

• topped with olive oil, lemon squeeze, nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel seasoning, pink salt & pepper 

consistency 🔑

Does anyone else struggle with the constant ebb and flow between regimented alcohol-free yogi meditating smoothie-drinkin’ optimistic walking chickpea versus tequila phone zombie seamless-ordering anxious sleepless wound up stress ball?!

As a free spirit who likes the freedom and space to change things up, it can get dicey for me to find a consistent flow and healthy balance with moving my body, positive thinking, eating intuitively, drinking, sleeping, etc.

Sometimes I find myself at the stark end of either spectrum, struggling to find a grounded balance between the extremes.

While seeking balance is a constant personal journey, I’m finding it’s important to accept these ebbs and flows, extremes, black and whites... to trust yourself, do what works for you, practice some self-compassion, and more importantly, get in touch with the why behind the actions.

Reminding yourself that it doesn’t always have to be black or white. One or the other.

1.25.19: a birthday for the books, minus the booze 🥂

If you don’t drink on your birthday did you actually celebrate?! OF COURSE. This month, I decided to experiment with a dry January. To get a lil mental reset in and notice what comes up for me when I don’t have alcohol to reach for.

Seeing as my birthday falls at the very tail end of January, I was curious to see how I would feel about it as the day arrived. To see if I would feel a deep lack, and to be honest, I felt quite the contrary. Filled up from all the love and laughs from my favs.

It felt good to actually feel good, to be mentally present with people and events that i genuinely love sober or not, (including dancing my face off with @brigitteapays and our fav @mattycakesss 🕺🏼) to feel more confident in what I want and who I am versus what social norms try to dictate, to take the pressure off of the extravagance and expectations of what a birthday celebration ‘should’ be and how it ‘should’ make you feel.

All I can say is that it felt good to ring in 26 being true to me in what I need right now. While this is what I wanted this year, who knows what the next will bring... maybe spicy tequila, champagne and vinooo. WHO KNOWS. Trust yourself, play around, tune in, only you know what you need.

1.21.19: I can’t feel my face breakfast bowl

Warm brekkie when it’s 7 DEGREES OUTSIDE 🔥

🌬I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE BREAKFAST BOWL:

• two eggs scrambled in ghee w/ diced red onion

• place on top a bed of leafy greens (I used organic arugula)

• baked sweet potato chunks on the side topped with everything but the bagel seasoning, pink salt, pepper, a dash of nutritional yeast (for a cheesy flavor), @louisiana_hot_sauce and fresh mint

what if to what is

⚡️WHAT IF TO WHAT IS⚡️ ⠀⠀

I’m constantly being reminded that the ‘what ifs’ are never as earth shattering and doom and gloom as the mind can make them seem. When these fears come up, two choices come to mind:

1. FLIGHT. C YA. 🛫 - literally avoiding the situation altogether OR mentally abandoning yourself with alcohol/busyness/food/distraction/social media/etc.
2. Facing the fear head on, staying with yourself even through the tough times

While running away sounds like a great idea in the moment, I’ve found it never actually brings a lasting mental peace or resolution. And what you run away from tends to run back to you, again and again.

While facing fears head on can bring about discomfort, naturally... growth is near impossible without it. And staying with yourself during these times serves as a powerful reminder of just how resilient and brave and capable you actually are.

you’re the sweetest

Sweet Potato Paradise (inspired by the lovely @leefromamerica ):

• bake sweet potato at 350 for 35 mins sliced in half

• sauté organic ground turkey with pink salt, pepper, @tonychacheres, garlic powder, cumin, cayenne, lemon, olive oil to taste

• sauté peppers & onions with seasoning above to taste

• stuff sweet potatoes with ground turkey, sautéed peppers & onions, greens (organic arugula), and roasted pecans (or whatever you want )

• drizzle with lemon, olive oil, cinnamon, cayenne & everything but the bagel seasoning

• E N J O Y 😉

all we have is now

Today I was reminded through the media (news and social) that we are not promised tomorrow.

That life is too short to spend one more second not loving the frick out of your people, all people, your life, yourself. 🖤

So tell your people you love them, send them a text, call them, be radically honest, make the change, have the tough conversation, do the thing, believe in yourself, chase your most authentic dreams, push yourself out of your comfort zone, be your truest self, wholeheartedly, courageously, unapologetically, fervently. right now. don't wait.
All we have is right this very moment. 

small, but mighty

SELF-CARE SUNDAY #SKINCAREANDCHILL 🌬

What does self-care look like for you?

While it can a nice added bonus, face masks and bubble baths are not a requirement of self-care.

Powerful self-care can be as simple as a small, but mighty two-letter word, “no.”

Being somewhat of a people pleaser and middle child peacemaker, saying no has not always come easy. However, I’m finding that what we say no to shows our commitment to our goals, our growth, our mental health, our physical health...

It allows space for the purposeful and passionate YES’s in our lives. It allows us to recharge and live (and love) our best lives so we can be there more fully for ourselves, and in turn, for others. And while that two-letter word might make some angry, it will set you free.

getting grounded smoothie bowl

Tryna get back into the swing of things like 👊🏼

Getting Grounded Smoothie Bowl:
✨ 1/2 cup of riced cauliflower
✨ 1/2 cup of frozen strawberries
✨ 1 cup of frozen blueberries
✨ 1 cup of almond milk
✨ 1 tablespoon of raw almond butter
✨ splash of lemon juice
✨ handful of mixed greens
✨ cinnamon, turmeric, fresh ginger, fresh mint
✨ topped with fresh blackberries, raspberries, almond butter, mint, organic bee pollen, pecans + pink Himalayan sea salt

noticing the why for the buy 👀

“But we’ve discovered that only things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose. This is not a message of happiness or reassurance, but it is the truth and it is a warning.” - Jimmy Carter

I recently watched ‘Minimalism’ on Netflix. It has left me brooding over where we find our meaning. I’ve found in my own personal experience that there is a direct correlation between my feelings of emptiness and consumption, aka ‘filling the void.’ In these times of feeling internal lack, my impulse to externally consume increases. The impulse to soak up mindless social media, attention from dating apps, nutrient-deficient foods, alcohol, more STUFF, more ways to escape the soul self…

This by NO means is meant to judge these activities, consumption or having things. All of which I do/have. Personally, this documentary has left me evaluating my own relationship with consumption. Simply understanding the WHY. The INTENTION. The true MOTIVE and MEANING behind the action. Noticing, not judging.

Living in a wonderful, sparkly, awe-inspiring, opportunity-filled, yet sometimes consumption-driven, self-survival mode city, I naturally and frequently engage in these impulses. But I’m finding that cozying up to the true reasons behind these impulses gets you more intimate with your true self, your rich soul self. Not the wannabe cool guy, ego, shell self. Being who you truly are…🤘🏼 and not who the world convinces you to be. And honoring and respecting your most authentic self’s needs, which in most cases for me isn’t mindless consumption or self-absorption, results in actual lasting happiness and fulfillment.

strength in vulnerability

One thing I’ve learned this year is that vulnerability is not a weakness. On the sharp contrary, it is one of our greatest strengths. It is our deepest point of connection, with ourselves, with others.

Through past relationships and experiences this year, I’m finding that the most important one is with yourself.

As exposed as it can feel to be your truest, weirdest, unguarded, raw, filter-free, soul-self, flaws and all... it is where we free ourselves from ourselves. ⛓⠀⠀

I’m learning that when we can let go of of our ego and fear of judgment, we gain the life that is truly meant for us.

So cheers to a new year of finding strength in being vulnerable. To letting down the internal walls, replacing fear with love. To finding freedom and internal peace in pure authenticity. At the end of the day, they might not all love you, but do you love you?

allow yourself

Allow yourself

To feel pure, uninhibited bliss
To feel simple contentment 
To feel joyful, bright laughter
To feel a little dimmer
To feel supported and fulfilled
To feel lonely 
To feel in your groove
To feel a little off
To feel free, silly and liberated
To feel anxious and serious 
The space you need
To be quiet and introspective
To be giving and outspoken
To miss people and the past
To revel in the present

No judgment, all okay. Take the pressure off. 🎈

finding your core in the apple

As if I couldn’t have more of a girl crush on Ellen DeGeneres, I watched the first episode of Relatable last night.

“Everyone has a fear, everyone’s scared of something but it’s not until you face that fear head on that you realize your power and that’s when you grow.” - ED

Part of the reason why I love New York City so much is it’s infinite ability to make me uncomfortable. As trying and moody as it can be, I love the way it (not-so-gently) forces growth. And in a sense, forces you to uncover who you are. At your core.

I’m finding that the more you engage in the things that scare you and make you nervous, the more you grow into your true self - your greatest superpower.

And the more you realize that we all have our fears, the more connected we feel... the more fear is replaced with compassion. 🙌🏼

hashtag balance

These past few days, I’ve been eating and drinking things that don’t always make me feel 100% (halloooooo, holiday season). 🍫🥂 And my mental health, energy levels and skin feel it.

Do I regret these past few days? Absolutely freaking not. Too much fun to be had and life is WAY too short for regrets. All part of the hashtag balance.

This, if anything, simply reinforces the idea that food is not the enemy. Food is information. And I’m finding that the more I tune in to the info it provides, the more empowered I feel. The easier it becomes to trust my intuition and give my body what it’s craving. Sleep or fun. Water or wine. Or all of the above.

(Don’t) LOOK BACK AT IT

I’d be lying to you if I said I was always 💯 at letting go of the past. Those ‘mess up’ moments in particular. That time you overslept, lost your cool, procrastinated, drank too much...

But I’m finding that refusing to let go of these moments only weighs you down. And holding on only hinders you from being all here, now.

For it is these ‘mess up’ moments that we actually learn and grow from. And in letting go of these internal replays of the past, we liberate ourselves to make space for all the positives of the present.  

RISE & SHINE

So my friend got me into doing a mini morning ritual as of recent. 🌞

This ritual consists of texting each other:
▫️5 things we’re grateful for
▫️one thing that went well during the day
▫️one thing that can be improved upon

If I’m keepin’ it real, yesterday was one of those days where grateful was the last thing I was feeling. BUT, once I begrudgingly started to type my five… my skewed feeling-fueled perspective began to shape up a bit.

I’ve found that participating in this simple act elegantly forces a positive shift in focus. ⠀⠀

Reminding myself of how good I actually have it. That feelings are temporary. And that while life can be filled with heartache, it is filled with equally as much, if not more, joy, laughter and light.

changing ‘what if’ to ‘what is’

I went to a Well+Good talk on anxiety and how prevalent it has become in our generation.

Something that stuck with me was Lo Bosworth‘s tip of changing “what if” to “what is.” Shifting the thinking pattern from future to present. Staying in the moment and having gratitude for “what is” right now.

Often times, anxiety is fueled by the “what if’s.” Thinking of the worst possible outcome to a situation that has yet to even come to fruition. Getting ahead of yourself and fast forwarding through the now.

While easier said than done 😅, there is such power in choosing to stay in the present. Bringing your thoughts back to right where you are, acknowledging “what is,” taking note of surroundings, sounds, sights, smells. Right here. Right now. 

let them know

The power of letting others know what you love about them.

It goes a LONG a$$ way. 👏🏼

I am always to shocked to hear when others’ perceptions of themselves are vastly different and more negative than how I see them. How the MOST wonderful, lovely, beautiful people can think the least of themselves sometimes.

I’m guilty of this at times too - it can be tricky to see one’s own greatest strengths from an unbiased outside perspective - one free of insecurities, past hurts & shame.

Which is why it can mean more than you think to let your people (or any people) know what’s up.

While I do believe confidence & self-worth comes (and stays) from within, I’m finding that the more we build up others and remind them of their own magic, the more ours grows. The more we all rise together.

letting down the walls

INSECURITIES.

To be human is to have them.

The more we have, the more walls we build. Against others. Against ourselves.

You know...
▫️the ones that make us feel not good enough
▫️the ones that close us off to others out of fear of rejection
▫️the ones that assume things and retract based upon those assumptions instead of being open to possibility and love (a few I’m guilty of at times)

Shutting things off or shying away completely before even allowing an opportunity for anything to take place... as a means of self-protection from rejection.

But I’m finding that the more we can make space for ourselves and let down the internal walls, the more space we have to fill with love, warmth, openness, opportunity, confidence.

The more we recognize our own, truly one-of-a-kind magic instead of comparing it to another’s, the more we understand there’s really no comparison. The more we can accomplish together, instead of fearing or fighting against.

And when your truth is louder than your insecurities, that’s when the magic happens. 😉

YAY FOR ‘okay’

So I wanted to write this really good blurb about life & gratitude blah blah blah, and to be frank, I can’t seem to muster the energy or inspiration right now.

I started this account to breathe a more real side into the social media world, something I think it could use a little more of, so here. it. is. people.

Don’t get me wrong, today was a good day! Nothing terrible, nothing life-changing, just a solid, good day. And sometimes it’s okay to feel just okay or tired or uninspired. ⠀

Life is full of ups, downs, inspiring moments, mundane moments, thrills, bores, happiness, sadness, excitement, fatigue, extraordinary and just plain ordinary. They all serve a purpose and bring us right where we need to be.

And I’m finding that more than anything, it’s our ability to love the mundane, ‘okay’ moments that form a type of happiness and gratitude that actually lasts. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So in the meantime, here’s a pretty bowl of 🍂🍃🍁’s in the name of fall, y’all. (or should I say winter?! 🌬)

Gratitude Salad:
▫️fresh arugula, organic baked chicken, roasted sweet potato, pomegranate seeds, pistachios, topped with olive oil, coconut aminos, pint salt & pepper, lemon juice, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

motivation station ⚡️

MOTIVATION.

How do you cultivate it?
Lately, this has been a struggle for me.

With the weather change & other factors thrown in the mix, motivation hasn’t exactly been knocking at my door.
HOWEVER, I’m determined to build a more consistent relationship with motivation.

Something that’s been helping me if this rings a bell for you too: Waking up early. Having something to look forward to or to show up for before the work day begins. WHATEVER that may be.

Lately for me, it’s looked like...
▫️blaring my favorite hip hop during a quick cardio sesh at the gym chased with a hot almond milk latte
▫️attending my fav studio, Y7, to sweat to the gentle sounds of Lizzo & Cardi B 
▫️brisk walks through Central Park, befriending all the furry strangers & cozy diner breakfasts with my friend Brig
▫️an egg-cellent & well-rounded homemade breakfast & a five-min headspace meditation

While this works for me, you have to do what works for you. Where do you find your motivation?

what serves your soul

Some days it’s wine and thai food. Others it’s water and greens. Some days it’s sleeping til 12 pm, others it’s waking up for 6 am yoga.

For me, life is about balance. It’s not about harping on the past. Or being perfect. Or being one way or the other.

It’s about letting go and moving toward what serves your soul in each moment. And redirecting when something feels off.

Honing in on what lifts you up. What makes you feel most like your truest, most authentic self. And choosing that over again.

rooting for you

In the famous words of Tyra Banks, ‘(we were all) ROOTING FOR YOU.’ 🥕 #hadto 

How do you empower yourself?

Is it the company you keep?
The energy you surround yourself with?
The energy you rub all over others?
The way you react to certain situations?
The activities and habits that fill up your soul day in and day out? 
The inner voice you live with?
The foods and drinks you reach for?

The thing about food is that I used to see it as punishment... and restriction, a way to be ‘less.’

But I’m learning that it is, in fact, the exact opposite. It is an outlet to empower yourself. To CHOOSE foods that personally make YOU feel good. To CHOOSE foods that make you feel the most alive and happy and confident and well.

It’s when I started flipping the switch from punishment to choice that empowerment began to grow and anxiety began to lessen.

Rooting for You Bowl:
▫️sautéed (in ghee) cruciferous crunch salad mix, organic jalapeño chicken sausage, jicama sticks, roasted sweet potatoes, turnips & fresh mango, topped with Trader Joe’s EBTB seasoning (bc duh), pink salt + pepper

you are enough, right now

“Frustrating desire for perfection”

I went to a MNDFL meditation on emotions and this really struck a cord with me. As we did a body scan during part of the practice, a place of “frustrating desire for perfection” was acknowledged going over the abdomen.

The left picture was taken about two years ago. As vulnerable as it makes me feel to post this, I felt good when I took it - it was a less stressful peak during my time in nyc, I felt happier and lighter emotionally and my body followed suit. (Thanks Parsley Health)

But let’s face it, life has its peaks and pits. Change is the only constant and life is constantly fluctuating, as is body as is mind as is EVERYTHING.

Being the striving self-perfectionist I am, I tend to hold on to things about myself that were more “perfect” than the present. I have a hard time letting go of times that “were.” And getting caught up in comparing instead of breathing in and appreciating every aspect of the NOW. Imperfections and all.

And what I’m realizing is, is that you can’t live your life in rewind mode... in constant tension with who you are versus who you think you should be.

Because in doing so, you’re missing out on all there is right this moment. On the body that allows you to do all the things and the vibrant soul that you have right now. That perfection is unattainable and boring. And the imperfection and uncertainty of life is what makes it exciting and fun and joyful and unique and beautiful. ✨

if you truly believe

SWEAT OUT THE DOUBT.

If you truly believe that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, then you can never be lost.

If you truly believe that each experience teaches you a new lesson, then no time is wasted.

If you truly believe that every person and place you encounter is part of the whole plan, then you can’t really create anxiety around the unknown.

If you truly believe that you are worth it, then you don’t really have time for the insecure thoughts.

If you truly believe... you will be just fine. 🙏🏼

stability in the hustle

I used to think yoga was boring.

It wasn’t until I moved to New York over 3 years ago and discovered Strala Yoga (thanks Klara Mudge) and Y7 that yoga became my outlet.

My outlet to more inner peace. To find stability in the hustle. Balance in the extremes. To more body love. To gentle empowerment. To liberated movement.

A way to escape the external noise, anxiety and speed, but not myself. 🤝

you can do all the things

ENERGY.

Lately, I’ve been lacking in this department. Feeling like a 🐌, mentally and physically.

I am very pro-listening to your body and resting when needed, but I’ve been feeling like I need a good kick out of neutral, something to reignite my spark.

I’ve been holding off on sprints, sticking to slower, more restorative workouts partly due to a recent small case of plantar fasciitis. But today, I needed MORE. I tried sprint intervals on the treadmill, and guess what... my foot didn’t hurt.

This reminded me that sometimes the fear of how I think the future will play out holds me back from doing what I’m actually capable of. And that you literally never know until you try. (Something my dad always ingrained in me.)

Just a reminder that you’re capable of more than you think, you can do the thing (and more).

practice not perfect

“In the midst of transition, it can be easy to feel frustrated. It’s in these moments when we can deepen our breath, quiet our minds and find a more authentic connection.”

I went to @y7studio and this phrase stuck with me. 🌚

TBH, I was stuck in my head, wobbled through the whole class and got frustrated with myself for both.

BUT, it’s called yoga PRACTICE for a reason.

Reminding myself that yoga (and life) is all a practice, it’s not about being perfect and balanced and happy all the time, but instead, accepting where you are right now, staying with your breath and flowing through the transitions.

one day at a time

Anyone else tend to get ahead of themself from time to time?

Sometimes my mind sprints ahead, creating stress of where I think I should be versus where I am right now. Thinking about EVERY SINGLE thing, all at once. Creating anxiety about things that have yet to happen, the unknown gap between the present and the future.

You guessed it... a case of the “shoulds.” in career, in new relationships, in my physical and mental self, happiness level, life… Expectation for what SHOULD come next 🆚 pure gratitude of what is, right now.

Wanting to solve all the problems and perfect everything immediately, wanting to control the outcome right from the start, grasping on too tightly to future expectations and being frustrated when they don’t play out exactly as planned.

But I’m finding that life is so much lighter + brighter when you simply take in the good moments instead of attaching them to future expectations.
Loosening the control grip and being grateful for each experience in the moment for what it is… nothing more, nothing less.
Believing that you are meant to be right where you are, and that each moment will lead you to the next without having to force anything. 

One day at a time.

GETTING WILd (-caught) 😜

Wild Salmon Sunday Salad Bowl (say that 5x fast):

• 1 can of TJ’s wild-caught sockeye salmon

• olive oil

• lemon juice

• salt + pepper

• diced onion

• a table spoon of capers

• celery

• arugula

• toss drained salmon in a bowl with olive oil, lemon juice, salt + pepper, diced onion, and capers, throw over a bed of leafy greens (arugula) and chopped celery, top with lemon juice and salt + pepper to taste
  
  inspired by the @parsleyhealth newsletter and @simplifiedjackie 

LOVE yourself enough

Soft smirks and eyes to the sky for the SELF👏🏼LOVE👏🏼CLUB👏🏼PEOPLE👏🏼

▫️Love yourself enough to put yourself out there.
▫️Love yourself enough to be weird.
▫️Love yourself enough to be your truest, unguarded self.
▫️Love yourself enough to rest when you need to.
▫️Love yourself enough to set boundaries with others.
▫️Love yourself enough to speak up.
▫️Love yourself enough to say ‘no.’
▫️Love yourself enough to keep going when it’s hard.
▫️Love yourself enough to do the thing you’re afraid to do.
▫️Love yourself enough to let go of what no longer serves you.
▫️Love yourself enough to let go of perfection.
▫️Love yourself enough to know your worth.
▫️Love yourself enough to be humble.
▫️Love yourself enough to choose joy.
▫️Love yourself enough to support others.
▫️Love yourself enough to love and lift up those around you.
▫️Love yourself enough.

DOEsn’t matter

So I tend to overanalyze (and sometimes beat myself up for) every single little detail, especially the ones that DON’T REALLY MATTER.

Today was one of those days. I spent most of it in my head... overanalyzing the past and experiencing a real bad case of the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. 🤯 My friend Brigitte kindly reminded me that it ‘DOESN’T MATTER.’

Short, direct + SO TRUE. Personally, I catch myself sometimes putting too much energy towards things that truly don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Feeding into the negative thinking and fueling spiraled thoughts.

But I’m learning that in most cases, the thing I’m stressing about DOESN’T MATTER, and life is too short to waste your energy caring about the things you don’t even care about.  

LET IT GO

Inday bowls + control

Control.

Grasping, forcing, pushing. To me, control is a way to self-protect... to force a desired outcome, it can also mean an assumption of all responsibility.

While I am all for channeled effort, drive, hard work, self-discipline... some things are simply out of our control.

I’m finding that when you accept that things happen, and sometimes you don’t know why or how or how to “fix” whatever thing that may be... it’s easier to let the burden you put on yourself go. The burden of control, the responsibility and sometimes disappointment that comes along with the expectation of control. 

We Are all human

”We’re all human.”

Tonight I went to a meditation on kindness and compassion at @inscape and this phrase stuck with me. We are all human. Whenever I feel anxious in situations around certain people, it’s usually because I am not perceiving them in their most relatable human way.

Something I’ve found that almost always eases my anxieties is talking, listening, being open… connecting. Whether it’s talking to the receptionist while waiting to enter an interview or chatting up the cab driver on the way to a date with a stranger. Breaking the barrier of separation, finding common ground. These connections and conversations always remind me that we are all human. We all have a different, unique story, yet we are all just trying to do our best, be happy and find peace. ✌🏼

TOO BUSY

Too busy.
▫️
Too busy to talk.
Too busy to listen.
Too busy to connect.
Too busy to care.
Too busy to look outside oneself.
Too busy to appreciate the little moments.
Too busy to see the little moments.
Too busy to laugh.
Too busy to pause, be present and breathe.
Too busy for you.
Too busy for me.
Too busy for we.
Too busy for life. 
Too busy to finish this...

FOOD FEELINGs

Feelings around food.

How do you feel about yourself when you eat certain foods? Do you classify them as good or bad? Do you classify yourself as good or bad? Do you feel shameful when you eat some and proud when you eat others?

For me personally, food has typically come with feelings.

As someone who’s found a passion for a more holistic approach to wellness and is fascinated by the mind-body connection, I’ve found for me, it’s more about how I feel when I’m eating certain foods and less about what foods I’m eating.

I’m finding that living intuitively, choosing things consciously (which in many cases is not broccoli or leaves 24/7), and seeking balance over extremes & perfection works better for me.

Seeking empowerment with knowledge and choices instead of shame and punishment. Do what works for you. You know you best. 🌿

THE MORE you know

I’m finding...
.
the more you respect yourself
the more you know what people to let into your world
the more you know what to actually care about 
the more you know what not to care about
the more you know how to let others treat you

you are not a body

I’ll never forget one time in our college dorm when I was overanalyzing and stressin’ about my body size/physical appearance, my beautiful friend Hannah (lysm) in so many words told me ‘when I think of you I don’t think of you as a size at all, I just think of you as Kayla.... I just think of you as you.’
.
These words have stuck with me ever since, and it reminded me that while these physical pieces might be an outside shell, you are not a body. There’s such a pressure in society to look a certain way, but you are a soul with a spirit as unique as a unicorn. There is literally no one with the same perspective, point of view, quirks, smell, style, laugh, sense of humor, smile, spirit and heart. You are so much more than a look. No one you-er than you. 💕

LOOSEN UP

There’s something wildly freeing about being silly. Letting go of social norms and the opinions of others. Getting out of your head, being your most authentic, uninhibited, unguarded, childhood self and having f-u-n.
.
It’s funny how stress and overthinking can harden your body and your soul, compressing them into a tight, tough stiffness that can be hard to crack back open.
.
Sometimes my thoughts get the best of me, stress and anxiety take their toll and my mind runs rampant, restricting my body language and my ability to lighten the frick up. 👨🏻‍✈️
.
But I’m learning that it’s okay to not have everything figured out, it’s okay to not know all the answers all the time, it’s okay to get lost in a shared moment of goofiness and laughter, for it’s these little moments of connection that make up our lives. These little moments that I feel most like myself. These little moments of joy that are my favorite.

FINDING BALANCE

Binging and restricting
.
How do you find balance? I struggle with this at times. With alcohol, foods, old habits... 🥂
.
The perfectionist, ‘black or white’ in me ends up cutting one or all of these things out cold turkey post-binge, which then leads to more binges - wanting what you won’t let yourself have.
.
But I’m learning that life isn’t black and white, there are LOTS and lots of gray areas. And finding balance is a constant journey. So in the meantime, self-compassion, celebrating the small wins and finding what works for you goes a long way.

FLOW OVER FORCE

WOBBLY. 
.
I’ve been feeling a bit off balance lately.
Tight shoulders, clenched jaw, rigid, upright toes… on edge and drained at the same time. I have an old habit of going against myself when this happens. Yup, forcing things.
.
▫️Forcing more workouts and less sleep to “feel” and “look” better.
▫️Stressing about these ‘off feelings’ instead of accepting them, further exacerbating them.
▫️Spending a little too much time in my head, especially when my head hits the pillow.
▫️Not having healthy boundaries with external forces, obsessing over things like social media and outside opinions.
.
The more pressure I put on myself, the less things simply… flow. 🌊The more I try to control things, the more tired I feel. The more I try to grasp on to things, the more they escape me. 
.
In turn, I’m learning that good things come from flow not force. 
Ease not pressure. 
Working with not against.
Listening instead of trampling over.
Kindness and compassion over hostility
Calm, slower breaths, instead of shallow, sharp ins & outs.
.
Work in progress. Stay with yourself.

LONG A** DAY (OVER EASY)

When it’s been a long a$$ day & you need a 5-min meal, I got you.
.
Long A** Day Bowl:

• shredded cabbage

• diced onions

• yellow squash

• TJ’s shredded green & red cabbage and carrots

• mushrooms

• all above veggies sautéed for a hot sec in ghee with @tonychacheres (miss you, nola), nutritional yeast, pink salt & pepper

• topped with a dash of pine nuts, tons of basil & one egg over easy 🍳 

EATING RAINBOWS

Rainbows to balance out the wine from this weekend🕺🏼 

Balance bowl:

• arugula

• shredded cabbage, carrots & brussels

• onion

• smoked salmon

• mushrooms

• green beans

• pomegranate seeds

• raspberries

• hemp seeds

• topped with fresh basil, mint, sliced almonds, olive oil, coconut aminos, everything but the bagel seasoning & pink salt and pepper ⚡️

MUCHAS GRACIAS

Someone bumps into me on the sidewalk "Sorry!"
Before asking to speak to someone "Sorry!"
Has to say no to an invite due to prior commitment "Sorry!"
No reason at all except pure habit "Sorry!"
.
While I am ALL for a solid apology when warranted, I read an article today and it has me noticing how often I throw around the S word. 
.
Pro (positivity) tip of the day that I took away: replace ‘sorry’ with ‘thank you’ 
.
So instead of a womp womp “sorry, I cant go,” we have a “thank you so much for understanding!”
.
In turn, “sorry” gets the impact it deserves and positivity thank you's are thrown around like confetti. 🤘🏼

GETTIN' FIGGY WITH IT

HAD TO bc dad jokes 🍑
Sweet & Spicy Salad Bowl:

• fresh arugula

• Trader Joe's jalapeño chicken sausage

• colored bell peppers

• edamame

• avocado

• tiger figs

• pine nuts

• on top: olive oil, apple cider vinegar, coconut aminos, pink salt, pepper, Tony's, nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel seasoning, mint

"DROPping THE MASK"

I’ve been trying to make it an end-of-week ritual to go to @mndflmeditation for a morning meditation. And this phrase always hits me. Something along the lines of “dropping the mask” and letting go of how you present yourself or who you feel you need to be in the world. 
.
I’ve always been somewhat of a “presenter,” putting my most smile-y, put together foot forward when I’m uncomfortable, making sure my hair & makeup is up to par before meeting up with an interest or even isolating when I don’t have the energy to “present” anymore. I use it as a way to protect myself or as a means to try and control how others perceive me. 
.
But I’m learning that you don’t have to try so hard. And when you let go, you make room for raw & real connection with others. You allow authentic relationships & circumstances to come into your life.
.
And that this protection method, while it might serve as protection from some uncomfortable feelings or rejection in the moment, it blocks you from true intimacy. 
.
Nothing and no one is perfect. Perfection is unattainable and true closeness with yourself and with others begins when you let go and accept things as they are, as you are, right here right now. 🎭 

THE DEETS:

LINK: https://www.mndflmeditation.com

LOCATION: Upper east side

class: breath 30 (led by marisa viola)

DON'T HIDE YOUR HUMAN

I’m Kayla. I overthink everything, I struggle with saying no, I bite my nails and I get anxious about being anxious.
.
I can be moody and impulsive when sleep-deprived, I spend way too much time on instagram, I don’t trust myself enough, I’m impatient and perfectionistic, and I smile when I’m uncomfortable. 
.
But I love wholeheartedly, I’m warm and trustworthy, I can’t lie, I love to laugh, I try to make everyone I encounter feel seen and heard. I am far from perfect, but I’m human. Who are you?
.
[inspired by my fav @leefromamerica 🖤]

FEEL IT ALL

“The only way out is through.”
.
Feeling takes energy. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat. It can be easy to run away from feelings  - shopping, drinking, staying busy, digital distraction, seeking validation in others - the list of quick fixes go on.
.
But I’m learning that what is not felt only comes out later, even stronger, unexpectedly or manifests physically (hi, chronic stress). And a quick high tends to result in a lower low.
.
Meditation, although difficult at times, has become a way for me to try to face all the things + to give my body a break from 🥊 or ✈️ mode. To check in.
.
It’s definitely a work in progress, but it’s called meditation practice for a reason. 

EMPOWERING VS. SHAMING

“Your life is ultimately a construct of what you believe.”
.
Heard this on a podcast I was listening to today, and it has me thinking about how much power our own belief systems hold.

.
I’m learning that what I believe manifests into my life, negative and positive. I’m a firm believer that the negative thoughts you have about yourself - shame, insecurity, anxiety (a few of my favs...) manifest physically in your body.
.
So instead of forcing and punishing my body to look and feel a certain way, I’m trying to shift my mindset. Doing downstream work versus upstream work. Moving with myself instead of against. Adding versus subtracting. Highlighting versus shaming. Empowering versus punishing. 🌟

STAY WITH YOURSELF

"If you are far away from yourself, how could you ever be close to another." @yung_pueblo 
▫️
Stay.
▫️
Stay with yourself when your room is a mess.
Stay with yourself when you oversleep for your morning workout.
Stay with yourself when you drink too much.
Stay with yourself when you mess up.
Stay with yourself when you feel lousy and undeserving of love.
Stay with yourself when you want to be self-critical.
Stay with the uncomfortable feelings that you want to run away from. 
Stay with yourself. 🤝

AS YOU ARE

What parts of you are you constantly trying to fix or filter? 
.
For me it might be holding back a true opinion out of fear of judgment or something as simple as spending hours upon hours manipulating my physical appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a good blowout & beauty routine, (👸🏼💄💅🏽) BUT strictly emphasizing the message that you already have everything you need WITHIN. 
.
In today’s culture, there’s such a pressure to be perfect. We are inundated and overloaded with messages telling us we aren’t enough just as we are. I am all about self-improvement, but nothing can make up for lack of self-acceptance.
.
In that spirit, I’ve been trying to take a step back and give more of my time to things I truly value. So here’s to a filter-free, natural hair-ed me. YOU ARE ENOUGH, just as you are. 

IDENTITY IS FLUID

"You’re allowed to change.”
Thanks for the much needed reminder and flow @chuckiebill 
.
I find myself clinging to an ego that was formed growing up. I subconsciously try to uphold this always happy and “perfect” shell or ego that resonates with a large part of my so-called identity.
.
Consequently, a sense of guilt sometimes comes with ‘not-so-happy-and-perfect’ emotions like sadness, anxiety, frustration, loneliness - or not feeling like the exact person that I once was.
.
But I’m learning that change is inevitable, and it’s OKAY to change and it’s OKAY to feel the
not-so-cute emotions - all part of becoming yourself. Whatever or whoever that may be. 

BIO-INDIVIDUALITY,
AS UNIQUE AS A UNICORN🦄

“It goes back to bio-individuality, whatever works for you.” @lilykunin
.
Grateful for and beyond inspired by these badass women, Bobbi Brown & Lily Kunin, speakers on Well + Good's 'Going Deep on Inner Beauty' panel, who reinforced the idea of bio-individuality, the idea that you are a unicorn and your needs, diet & lifestyle are as unique as YOU. This concept recognizes that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to health. .
.
As someone’s who struggled with body image and hormonal imbalances, I remember wasting hours upon hours doing workouts I hated and eating “diet” foods that I thought were good for me.
.
It wasn’t until I shifted my mindset from punishment to empowerment, that the internal battle within myself lessened and my body followed suit. It’s a work in progress, but the key for me has been playing and experimenting with whole, real foods, moving in ways that I actually enjoy & choosing and re-choosing people and things that empower me. (Thx @bothsidesbuttered & @robinberzinmd@parsleyhealth @y7 🌟🖤🧘🏼‍♀️🤸🏼‍♀️)

FOOD IS FRIEND

I did a thing. I... cooked.
.
PASTA. 🍝 As someone with hormone issues who hasn’t had the most functional relationship with food, cooking some form of pasta was slightly freeing. 
.
Sometimes the obsession and internalized negative tags placed on different food groups feels more harmful than the actual nutritional values themselves. So here’s to red lentil pasta and food freedom. 
.
TJ’s red lentil pasta, arugula, pine nuts, fresh cauliflower, organic chicken sausage tossed in garlic olive oil with a dash of nutritional yeast, Himalayan salt and pepper & @tonychacheres 🌶

8.15.18: CLEARER INTENTIONS

So today marks day 30 of my alcohol-free month, and TBH, I feel GOOD.
.
My actions have been more intentional and true to me and my mind has felt more clear. My confidence is feeling a lift from my actions and core self aligning. .
.
I’ve dealt with emotions, anxiety & stressors head on, (through meditation + staying with myself) which admittedly is NOT the most comfortable.
.
BUT in turn, these feelings were given the space to be processed then on their merry way (baiiiiiii 👋🏼). Not shoved down or pushed away. Felt. 
.
As someone who deeply values human connection, I am constantly in situations where alcohol is a social unifier. Brunch, happy hour, wine nights, you name it.
.
While this break felt true to what I needed for this month, who knows what the next months will hold...🍸 bc balance and intuitive living. (And I do love a good spicy marg.)
.
You have to do what feels right for you, okurr. Only YOU know what YOU need.

THEY SEE ME BOWLIN'

When it’s 92 degrees at 8 pm, FROZEN DINNER FTW 🌬
Smoothie bowl:

• blueberries

• @parsleyhealth vanilla protein

• maca

• almond butter

• almond milk

• fresh mint

• lots of fresh arugula

• cinnamon

• topped with blueberries, almond butter, himalayan sea salt, pine nuts, chia seeds & fresh mint 🍃

THE WORLD NEEDS YOU

The ever-so-wise @bothsidesbuttered once told me “do things you actually want to do.” 
.
DUH. 🤦🏼‍♀️ The simplicity astounded me, yet this statement has been ingrained in my head ever since. 
.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in what society says you “should” do or what you “should” look like or who you “should” be, but nothing is more soul-sucking than going against yourself all the time. The world needs you - just as you are.

11.14.17: FREE AS A BEE

Letting loose and just having FUN. Something I haven’t quite been able to allow myself to do as often lately - only when my critical inner voice is silenced with 🍸🥂.
.
As someone who has grown up being goofy and who loves to laugh, dance and sing, I haven’t felt as in tune with that part of myself. This past weekend I remembered what it felt like to uninhibitedly be myself, be present and LET FREAKING LOOSE.
.
So whenever you’re feeling a bit SERIOUS and uptight and in your own head, take a step back, CHILL, surround yourself with your favorite humans and move, sing, dance, talk, be, etc. as free and as weird and as you as you can be! 🐝